THREE
Office
of the Chief of Staff
The
White House
|
“W |
rong,” said the President. “Very, very wrong. Never heard of this person.
You know who I want.”
“I’m afraid she said no, Mr. President,” said Chief of
Staff Harris Dickson. “Again. Ms. Kidman wished me to convey to you just how
honored she is, but she doesn’t feel herself qualified. She also mentioned that
her life was full already with her career, marriage and children.”
“She has kids? Nobody told me that. Why would a babe like
that ruin everything by having kids?”
“I have no idea, sir,” said Dickson. “We do, however,
have a short list of very qualified candidates. Mr. Bothwell, in particular,
would be an excellent choice.”
“Never heard of him. What kind of name is that? Bothwell?
Sounds like bath water.” The President laughed. It was more a signal he had
made a funny than a genuine expression of mirth. “Bath water.”
Harris Dickson managed a pinched smile. “Mr. Bothwell is
highly respected on both sides of the aisle, Mr. President. And eminently
qualified.”
“Lively!”
“Pardon me, Mr. President?”
“Now that’s a name. Lively! Don’t know what her first
name is but saw her at some fundraiser for sick kids I had to attend a couple
years ago. Caught my eye. She’d be a good fit. That’s what I need. Lively! I’m
the liveliest president this country has ever had! Everybody says so!”
“Undeniable, Mr. President.”
“If I’m going to have to sit through boring Cabinet
meetings every week I need something to keep my interest up. I need a pretty
lady. If Lively’s not available, find me someone who is. Somebody presentable.
No bath water. Don’t make a big deal out of it, just do it. It’s just
Transportation, for cryin’ out loud.”
“Perhaps we could go over the short list tomorrow?”
“Short skirt’s more like it. Now get out of my office.”
Dickson sighed. This again.
“Uh, Mr. President, actually, this is my office. Yours is
the larger one with the curvy walls and the Resolute desk.”
The Chief Executive looked around at the tastefully
furnished rectangular corner office.
“You think I don’t know that?” he challenged Dickson.
“Of course you do, Mr. President. Just your way of having
a bit of fun.”
“Just my way of having a little fun, that’s all. That
desk belonged to Ol’ Rough ‘Em Up Teddy, I bet you didn’t know that. Great man,
Roosevelt. Won the war. The big one. Ugly wife, which is too bad. Did some
commie shit too. Bad. Very bad. Do your job.”
“Thank you, sir. Your office is just to the right, sir.
You can’t miss it.”
“Like I need anyone to tell me how to find my own
office!” The Commander in Chief paused at the door to waggle a finger at
Dickson. “You do what I told you!”
“Yes, Mr. President.”
“Elected in a landslide and don’t forget it! I’ve got
a…a…it’s a big one.”
“Mandate?” said Dickson, although he hadn’t needed the
upward inflection, everyone knew that was the answer. Unless the President was
in one of his randier moods, and then the subject of big ones was to be avoided
and/or deflected at all costs.
“The biggest one in history! Incredible! An incredible
mandate. Amazing mandate. Biggest mandate this lousy country has ever seen!”
The President started left down the hall.
“Ah, sir, to your right, Mr. President.” The President
reversed course and paused in Dickson’s doorway.
“You’ll see. Wait until we get to that rally. They won’t
report it, but it’ll be the biggest rally ever. What was it, three million
people wanted tickets? That’s what they all say. Three million. Maybe more. We
need bigger venues. Three million wanted to see me.”
“Impressive, yes sir.”
“Damn historic, that’s what it is! That’s your mandate,
right there. Not your mandate. My mandate.”
“Absolutely, Mr. President.”
“To the left?”
“Right.”
The President pointed an approving finger. “You passed.
Nicely done.”
“Thank you, Mr. President.”
The President leaned left, caught a little shake of the
head from Dickson, then headed right, in the direction of the Oval Office.
“Man with a mandate comin’ through!”
Dickson gave it a couple of seconds before closing his
office door and taking a phone out of his jacket pocket. He took a deep breath
before poking at the screen. “I am so sorry to disturb you. I just thought I
would let you know he’s being stubborn about Bothwell. I’m working on it, but I
can’t help but think perhaps we should have seen this coming and been prepared
with someone, well, more appealing to him. I was just hoping to get a few more
pieces in place before things, ah, move forward.”
He listened attentively for a few seconds, nodding his
head all the while.
“I appreciate your understanding. And I can assure you we
have taken care of our part. We have the engaged the best, just as you de…ah,
requested. All according to plan.”
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